Enduring Hardship: The Practice of Becoming Mentally Tough

We should remember that one man is much the same as another, and that he is best who is trained in the severest school.” -- Thucydides

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
-- James 1:2-4

Pain. That is an unpopular word. For most people, the preferred method of dealing with pain is to numb it or, better yet, avoid it altogether. However, simply numbing or avoiding pain does not address the cause of it. Typically, pain avoidance only makes the situation worse. That is because the purpose of pain is to call our attention to a problem or weakness. Pain is not meant to be numbed or ignored, it is meant to be dealt with. In life, pain is often caused by hardship. God doesn’t tell us to ignore hardship or run from it. He tells us to endure it (2 Timothy 2:3). According to Webster’s dictionary, "endure" is defined as “To undergo without giving in” and “To remain firm under suffering or misfortune without yielding.” God tell us to endure hardship because He knows that, as followers of Christ, we will encounter it often in this life (John 15:20, 2 Timothy 3:12). Hardship is also the context God most often uses to make a man. Therefore, as men of God, we must learn to accept hardship willingly and recognize it as a tool God is using to bring us into our fullness – “…mature and complete, lacking in nothing.” How do we learn to endure hardship? We learn to endure hardship by practicing mental toughness.

When someone says “He’s tough” the picture that comes to mind for many people probably resembles Rocky Balboa in the final fight scene of the movie Rocky. Indeed, Sylvester Stallone’s character was physically tough. Indeed, it is also important for us to be able to endure physically. However, I believe mental toughness is far more valuable than physical toughness. Consider 1Timothy 4:8, “For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” This verse makes a clear distinction between physical training and godliness, with the latter being a mindset; a consistent practice of mental toughness. In 2 Timothy 4:5, Paul says, “But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship …” Once again, there is a direct connection between mental toughness and enduring hardship. Ask any Special Operations soldier and they will tell you that a trained mind is the key to enduring stress and hardship. Perhaps that is because God intended it to be that way. But how is mental toughness developed?

The first step in developing mental toughness is to practice self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7 states, “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." That is one of my favorite verses in the Bible because I deeply believe that it defines our identity as men of God. I also believe it holds a powerful key to developing mental toughness. That key is self-discipline. God makes it clear in His word that we must live by faith if we want to please Him (Hebrews 10:34). To be faithful, we must learn to be consistent. To be consistent we need to build self-discipline. To build self-discipline we must learn to endure hardship. Enduring hardship requires training. Being trained is different than being taught. Being taught is a solitary act. Training, however, involves taking what you have been taught and doing it; practicing it again and again. Practice something long enough and it becomes reflex. Nobody can do that for you. You and you alone must choose to train, to practice self-discipline. It will not be easy. In the words of one U.S. Marine Corps. OCS instructor, “You need discipline most when it is hardest to muster – when you’re tired, hungry and outside your comfort zone.” However, it will be worth it. Self-discipline will protect you. Without self-discipline it is impossible to endure hardship.

A second way to practice mental toughness is to be optimistic during hardship. God tells us to be so in His word (Joshua 1:9, Psalm 31:24). In fact, I think optimism is a core tenet of faith itself. I love the simplicity of the Webster’s Dictionary definition of optimistic: Expecting the best. Think about that. As believers, we have a personal relationship with the Creator of the Universe, the Most High God, the Lord of Lord, the King of Kings. A relationship which is so intimate and loving that He calls us His children and sent His own son to be crucified on a cross so that we might be able to spend eternity in paradise with Him! With God as our father, how could we ever be anything less than optimistic?! Yet, optimism during times of hardship is extremely elusive for most people and most of us spend time fighting off discouragement (the opposite of optimism). Even Joshua, a great warrior of God and the person God chose to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land, got discouraged. So much so that God told him to “be strong and courageous” twelve different times. I think it is so difficult to be optimistic because our enemy – the devil – knows just how powerful optimism is and works hard to undermine that attitude in us. I am not exaggerating about the power of being optimistic. It was even emphasized during my wilderness survival training, when we were required to memorize the seven priorities of survival. What was the top priority? Positive mental attitude. It is that important.

In order to develop an optimistic attitude and guard against discouragement during times of hardship, it is important for us to realize that feelings are not fact. As with self-discipline, being optimistic is toughest when a person is under great stress. Our feelings will often work against us. Remember, being strong and feeling strong don’t always happen simultaneously. Being optimistic helps us to act with strength when we feel weak and be certain during times of uncertainty. Developing a strong mind is the key to this. We strengthen our minds by storing up God’s promises in our hearts so that we can draw on His power, strength and encouragement in the midst of hardship. The following verses are excellent sources resources to help us be optimistic: Deuteronomy 31:8, Joshua 1:9, Isaiah 40:28-31, Matthew 19:26, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, Philippians 4:13 and Philippians 4:19. Start memorizing them now and they will be there to see you through when the going gets tough.

A third way to practice being mentally tough is to stay focused on the mission at hand. Jesus demonstrated this for us in Matthew 20:17-34. This passage begins when Jesus was on the way to Jerusalem with His disciples and had just told them that He was going to be beaten, flogged and crucified. Yet, in the next verse, He stops to allow a woman to ask him a favor. He then uses it as an opportunity to teach his disciples a leadership lesson. Soon after, He is stops again to heal two blind men. Think about the significance of this. Jesus was walking to His death and He knew it. Yet, He continued to focus on the mission at hand – putting others ahead of Himself, their interests ahead of His own and not acting selfishly. Talk about mental toughness! We should strive to achieve that same level of focus when God gives us a mission. A man of God should never allow the unforeseen circumstances of hardship to cause him to pause. Either he trusts God or he doesn’t. There is no middle ground. We must learn not to waiver just because we feel unprepared for what lies ahead. We must not try to look at God from the middle of difficult circumstances. If we do, we become “like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind” (James 1:6). Rather, let us set our faces like flint (Isaiah 50:7) and focus on the mission at hand with a mental toughness that knows for certain God has forever demonstrated His absolute love for us on the cross and that He will never leave us or forsake us.

There is no doubt that learning to endure hardship – becoming mentally tough – is a long, difficult process. God intended it to be that way. He is treating us as sons (Hebrews 12:7), teaching us to obey Him (Psalm 119: 67-68, 71) and doing what is best for us (Hebrews 12:10). He does not want us to have an easy, convenient life because He knows that we will forget him if we do. He also knows that the more we hurt, the more we will be driven to Him and rely upon His strength and his strength alone. The Psalms show us that King David, a man after God’s own heart, was intimately familiar with this. In fact, he was desperate for God. Oh, that we might learn to be desperate for the love of our Heavenly Father! Young men, I beg you to heed my words: Enduring hardship is never easy, but always worth it. Learn to become comfortable with discomfort. When you find yourself in a tough, painful situation, don’t focus on finding a way out. Focus on learning the lessons God has for you to learn and trusting Him to provide you with the strength to persevere so that you may become “mature and complete, not lacking anything.” As the saying goes, “There are two types of pain in this world: The temporary pain of discipline, or the permanent pain of regret.” The first is a blessing from God. The second is something He never intended for you to feel. Practice mental toughness. It is an essential element of godly manhood.

Mike McFarland
Guest Director